Financial Optimizer T-Shirts

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'You think it's easy spending money faster than you can make it?'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"It's simple supply and demand. The shorter the supply, the more money we demand."

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

Saving for College.

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'