Business Newshound Gifts

'That's a significantly better return than I'm getting on my money. Ah, that's the weather.'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

The Circular Logic of Fascism

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

Netanyahu versus Gantz

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

Hostage Crisis Continues: 'We don't care what the people voted for! We want out way!'

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'

Anger Management - Now Treating "Electoral College Rage"

A Man and His Cat Read the Financial News.

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

Bad News

"The White House Washington"

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

Half a house is better than none.

Wedge Issues in the United States.

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

How should I know up or down? All I heard was the FT was 74.95.

Worst decision of all time, cont'd.

The Robert Mueller Rosetta Stone

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

Obama: The Other White Meat

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

"It's been a dog of a year - seven years of trouble packed into one year's time."