Newshound Gifts

"This year has been a horror movie. I'm sure the book version will be better."

I can quote you without using your name, but not as "a really smart senior official who knows more than you do."

'Let him yell. I've brought him his Wall Street Journal every day for 6 years and hasn't given me one tip yet.'

'STREWTH! Our firewall is down!' (Rupert and James Murdoch cease to be shielded after Rebekah Brooks resigns)

'It wouldn't hurt you to let him read the sports page.'

'I'm getting so fed up of news stories about the environment.'

"Which network would you like to get your daily fill of Kardashian news from?"

"And do you, Donald Trump, promise to cool it a little?

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Squeezing the Free Press.

They're Not Just That Into It

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Trump pardons

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

Oligarchy

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

The Circular Logic of Fascism

Difference of Opinion

Meet the Enemy

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

"We won!"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

CIA report

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."