Business Mystic T-Shirts

'I'm here to work on my company's vision.'

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

Woman with crystal ball working at an investment company.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Team Leader

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

'I told you, if the LA branch steals our thunder, there is no more dialogue.'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'This is where we shed all our inhibitions.'

"We call out to you, please reveal yourself, oh Spirit of Innovation."

"Wow! Boss! I thought she was a silent partner."

The church of our lady of wall street.

"All right, Thompson. The board concedes that this quarter's economic growth does look very much like a kitty.

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

"Things are getting desperate...we have to do something!"

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

"I once had a firm foothold in reality, but I found that it seriously undermined my ability to function as a financial market analyst."

"It's not a map of our new oil drilling sites--it's our stock price."

'Fortune 500 Fortunes'

'We're expecting stocks to rally but we don't know which ones and when.'

'Whose idea was it that we give our investors full disclosure?'