Corporate Mystic T-Shirts

"This is Mr Smith, he's head of our Qualitative Department."

"most of you have met Higgins. He'll be helping us prepare for the upcoming audit."

"We call out to you, please reveal yourself, oh Spirit of Innovation."

'Sir, do you believe in omens and portents?'

'I've never seen anyone move so freely between the business world and the spirit world.'

Fortune 500

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Team Leader

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'You just don't seem to be fitting in.'

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

'You may have three mergers.'

'There always seems to be ONE trouble-maker in the company who gets a sick thrill from rebelling against our corporate culture!'

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

"Apparently, he's been trapped in his cubicle since 1944. Do you want to tell him World War II is over, or shall I?"

With-it Woman

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

"Things are getting desperate...we have to do something!"

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

'Perhaps we would be better off with fewer fans on Facebook and Twitter, and more on Visa and Mastercard!'

'I need a change in my life. From now on it's all wheeling and no dealing'

Profit can be a silly thing, but your boss thinks it is everything.

"It's really a lateral transfer, Crampton, From 'Nobody' to 'Flunkie'."