Business Lingo Buff Gifts

' Most recently I've been involved in the manufacture, development, testing and repair of primary bio-components. Kids.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"I made a straightforward proposal, Moira, and all I ask is a linear response."

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

'Don't you all feel energised, full of enthusiasm for the future!'

GDP and G&T.

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

Digital Marketing

JIT -Jittery Inventory Turnover

'Ms. Kravetz, find me a euphemism to describe this productivity gain somewhere between resource action and you're all fired.'

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

"As I mentioned before, Fassler, you'll never go anywhere until you start using 'impact' as a verb."

'Good work, I doubt whether any of the shareholders will understand it.'

"Yes, but...will it scale?"

'My protocol ate your paradigm.'

"There'd be a lot less hemming and hawing if you did a better job of flimming and flamming."

"No time for sound bites. Just give me a couple of sound nibbles."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Apropos your request for a salary increase, we're going to have you appraised."