Business Jargon Buff Gifts

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

'We no longer call it 'hiring' - we now call it 'insourcing'.'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

Terms and conditions on the mount

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

GDP and G&T.

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

Digital Marketing

"Herewith, we recommend the following: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's worth remembering your original purpose was to drain the swamp...."

JIT -Jittery Inventory Turnover

"That wasn't daydreaming; I was internalizing my goal targeted self performance metrics."

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

"As I mentioned before, Fassler, you'll never go anywhere until you start using 'impact' as a verb."

"Boss, I didn't understand your memo. It reads 'W.U.W.T.M.S.A.' What does that mean?"

'Good work, I doubt whether any of the shareholders will understand it.'

'My protocol ate your paradigm.'

"O.K. Will somebody please bring me up to date?"

"Yes, but...will it scale?"