Business Lingo Enthusiast Gifts

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'In management terms, I am the hammer, and you are the nail.'

"That isn't MY definition of contract segmentation..."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

Gingerbread Business Classes: Think Outside the Fox.

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

"I made a straightforward proposal, Moira, and all I ask is a linear response."

'Don't you all feel energised, full of enthusiasm for the future!'

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

Terms and conditions on the mount

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

GDP and G&T.

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

'Ms. Kravetz, find me a euphemism to describe this productivity gain somewhere between resource action and you're all fired.'

Clothiers. Suits - Shirts. The salesman uses a lot of business jargon. Welcome! You've done your due diligence. You already know we're a value-add operation here. Great synergies with the suit and accessories! And our tailor can right-size this for you. You'll be able to monetize the strategic acquisition of this suit via enhanced deal-making success! I don't want to "dress for success." I want clothes for repose. I think I have a great head for business but my body never wants to tak

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

JIT -Jittery Inventory Turnover

"Herewith, we recommend the following: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's worth remembering your original purpose was to drain the swamp...."