Business Language Aficionado Gifts

"I made a straightforward proposal, Moira, and all I ask is a linear response."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"As the director I insist you stop referring to me as the "big muckety-muck" in emails."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

Gingerbread Business Classes: Think Outside the Fox.

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"You're all redundant."

'You don't understand, Hartwell -- the handshake WAS your Christmas bonus.'

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

'Don't you all feel energised, full of enthusiasm for the future!'

"Hire him, I want to watch his enthusiasm die."

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

'Ms. Kravetz, find me a euphemism to describe this productivity gain somewhere between resource action and you're all fired.'

Digital Marketing

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

'This startup is going to cost me a ton.'

JIT -Jittery Inventory Turnover

Clothiers. Suits - Shirts. The salesman uses a lot of business jargon. Welcome! You've done your due diligence. You already know we're a value-add operation here. Great synergies with the suit and accessories! And our tailor can right-size this for you. You'll be able to monetize the strategic acquisition of this suit via enhanced deal-making success! I don't want to "dress for success." I want clothes for repose. I think I have a great head for business but my body never wants to tak

"As I mentioned before, Fassler, you'll never go anywhere until you start using 'impact' as a verb."

'Good work, I doubt whether any of the shareholders will understand it.'

'My protocol ate your paradigm.'