Business Speak Enthusiast Gifts

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

The Rubber Ball Company

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

"I love fast break business success."

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

'We need to boost our earnings by giving our earnings a boost.'

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

'Since we downsized the board of directors profits are up 300 percent.'

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

Fisher, this memo of yours, it needs more punch

Boss to employee: 'You think you've got burnout? Are you sure it's not dry rot?'

Intelligent dog.

"I finally got that order off Benson last night. He signed it with a chopstick and soya sauce."

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"I made a straightforward proposal, Moira, and all I ask is a linear response."

"Ssssh. . . it's time for his verbal warning."

"I told you never to call me here."

'It saves me the trouble of constantly asking myself 'What's my motivation?''

"Hire him, I want to watch his enthusiasm die."

"Kicking you upstairs is, of course, just a figure of speech. What we're really doing is sending you deeper into the countryside."