Bush Bamboozler Gifts

unprunin

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

Birds with Headphones

Beware of the Undergrowth.

'Do you still wonder how Kevin got his promotion to VP?!'

Dictator, Interrupted

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

Our 4 Branches of Government

'We need someone on the outside.'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

'You've had enough!'

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

'Wow! How did you catch something smaller than the bait you were using?'

Dictator, Interrupted

Topiary bushes in the form of pointing hands. People are looking in the directions that the fingers are pointing.

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

'No wonder people are cynical about government. Fooling some of the people all the time no longer works.'

We have boorish stocks for boorish times.

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

'The government is DETERMINED to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68^ across 75% of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days!'

Gardener's Calendar: January - Look for some out-of-the-way corner and start your compost heap.

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

You stink at Halo 5. I have no thumbs!

Yeah, I'm a songbird, but I'd rather be known as a singer/songwriter.

IRS: 'Ours and Theirs.'

'The traffic wardens around here are absolute b**tards.'

"The sudden resignation caught many by surprise. 'I wish to spend more time with my family,' he said. When contacted, his family replied, 'Who?'"

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms