Bush Banterer Gifts

Yeah, I'm a songbird, but I'd rather be known as a singer/songwriter.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Annual run-off at the mouth.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

"Hey Eric. Do you think they're silicone implants?"

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

"Yes, you look presentable. Now get on!"

'Here comes Ted.'

'I don't know much about Art, but i can tell you all about his wife.'

"Let's go bowling and keep on bowling until the people who regulate bowling say it isn't bowling any more!"

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

Topiary bushes in the form of pointing hands. People are looking in the directions that the fingers are pointing.

David Letterman

"Even after all these years, I still find it very exciting using my vote to cancel out your father's."

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

"Now that we can talk, we have to have meetings."

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

No, I'm not getting you a beer while I'm up.

'I still have all my own teeth but my head is false.'

Mothers. . . have no shame.

unprunin

"Welcome to the comedy club, sir! Heckling or non-heckling?"

"There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have trouble with those in the back yard."

MD trash talk... "Your mama is so dumb, she doesn't know endopeptidase from endopericarditis."

I just edited your Wikipedia entry. Tap tap tap tap tap. Big whoop. What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop

Man sticking his tongue out at his boss.

'I, along with some of the other employees, feel you're abusing the breakroom.'

'No, we haven't converted to Islam. Henry has just lost his razor.'

'My insurance company says I have to get three estimates.'

"Hey, nice body! Not you, the car! ... That's what she said! ... Oh, yeah? Ask me about your wife!"