Burger Philosopher Gifts

'And finally, sir, would you like your burger flipped by a Ph.D. in Philosophy, History or English Literature?'

Buddhist Burgers: 'Make me one with everything'.

Has the industry really been thinking about the long-term effects of genetically modified animal food?

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"Who's next?"

TSA Lines

The youth shows responsibility!

Art Museum vs Refrigerator Artwork

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

"...umm, when was the last time somebody cleaned the fridge?!"

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

"I don't care if 'the medium is the message'. You can't draw directly on the fridge!"

Irregular Fruits and Veggies: "It's our inner beauty that counts..."

'We could use you in our next ideation.'

"Latte for a guy you're sure ordered after you."

"Still, I'd rather be here than at the office."

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers