Burger Philosopher Pillows

'And finally, sir, would you like your burger flipped by a Ph.D. in Philosophy, History or English Literature?'

Buddhist Burgers: 'Make me one with everything'.

Has the industry really been thinking about the long-term effects of genetically modified animal food?

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

"Who's next?"

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

TSA Lines

The youth shows responsibility!

Self- Checkout. I never use those lanes ... I get enough of that in therapy.

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

"...umm, when was the last time somebody cleaned the fridge?!"

Art Museum vs Refrigerator Artwork

"The lines are a bit slow today...so here's something to help pass the time!"

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

"Still, I'd rather be here than at the office."

Irregular Fruits and Veggies: "It's our inner beauty that counts..."

"Latte for a guy you're sure ordered after you."

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."