Burger Devotee T-Shirts

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

Nutrition-Free Diet

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'A Quarter-Tonner, please.'

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

Sisyphus Sawyer

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

The mission: Impossible burger.

'As a romantic guy, nature always makes me thoughtful. Right now, I think about fast-food restaurant stocks.'

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

Shortly Thereafter, They Would Make Sweeping Changes To Their Policies.

Eye of Newt (evidently the favored hamburger condiment for witches)

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'