Bureaucracy Dissecters Gifts

'Of course we want medical staff to have choice...and this is how we want them to use it.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Let's not go by the book.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Quality Control

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Time for More Paperwork

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"Here at Global Com we're looking for people can 'think outside of the box'..."

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."