Bureaucracy Unravelers Gifts

Department of Dot Connection

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Town Planning Department

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

Rusk Assessment Form

"In principle I agree that staff have far to much pointless paperwork to fill in."

Of course the teasts are complete nonsense but we're working on the basis that anyone who can be bothered to complete all 148 of them must be highly motivated...

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

Federal Center for the Study of your Tax Return.

'Of course there are more bureaucrats than field workers! It's more fun to create regulation, than to actually enforce it!'

'Of course it's a lengthy process. We feel hiring you should be as difficult as firing you.'

'Since the universe is rapidly expanding, there's a lot more that we have to worry about now.'

Decision makers: 'Out for...maybe 2 hours, who knows?'

Pentagon Science Contest: 'You've got a time machine! Just go to the future when scientists figured out how to travel to another solar system, then come back with the solution and win half a million bucks.'

Stanley Hibblemeyer suddenly realizes that he is only a theoretical physicist.

"Patel confirmed"

"No, you can't see Mr. Smith without an appointment! But I can make you an appointment to make an appointment!"

'I've been here for 30 years. I've forgotten what my exact role is, but I do finally know how to fill out all the forms.'

"And you sign here..here...and here.."

Blackhole Research.

Rules and procedure

Job Creation Department - Door in need of a handle

"But if you've given up on a fifth force, how can you possibly discover a sixth force?"