Bureaucracy Buffer Gifts

Planning Department.

The Vicar in Customs

"May I see your planning application?"

"Look, I know it's not fair, but taking everyone at a flat age of thirty-seven greatly simplifies the system."

'Eureka may or may NOT be the most appropriate response, I think we need to set up a policy committee to consider developing a policy that encapsulates...'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Let's not go by the book.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Storm in the out tray

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Quality Control

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'What's wrong now?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Time for More Paperwork

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.