Bureaucracy Humor Buff Gifts

'...Okay, just a few more items to add to your EHR. I appreciate your patience...'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'What's wrong now?'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

"Useless information"

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

I kicked him upstairs to Diaz, Diaz kicked him over to Fennelson, and Fennelson evidently kicked him out the window.

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

"From this you make a living?"

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

'Somebody should tell our office manager that a motorized filing cabinet does not qualify as an electronic health record system.'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

Max Weber

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Top Secret/Middle Secret/Bottom Secret

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

"You may ask your questions only when I call your name. Don't waste my time with chit-chat. I don't have all day. Got that?"

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'