Burden Buster Gifts

"Problems are only as real as you imagine them to be."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Time for More Paperwork

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"The admin shouldn’t take more than 30 or 40 hours, then you’ll be free to get on with some work."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'This is a job for a consultant.'

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'