Bunk Bed Banter Gifts

"To be honest, I was little nervous when you insisted on being the one on top."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

"No. You turn over."

'It's called a bedSIDE manner, Doctor.'

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

"Well done Carson! This could be the answer to our bed shortage problems!"

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

"Honey are you asleep?" "I am now."

"It was meant as a compliment. In my eyes, you're a real pig."

'We were playing doctor until she hit me with a malpractice suit!'

"That's kingsize?"

"Ever notice that you finish my sentences and. . ."

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

"Flip you for the top bunk."

"I've a patient who needs a 'chat'...have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communications with patients in a lighthearted, supportive but not disempowering manner' course?"

"I'm recommending a transplant. I'm transplanting you to another hospital."

Why you must get up.

"I wish you'd shut that door! - Were you born in a barn??"

'The issue isn't why are you touching me when I'm trying to read, it's why are you touching me period.'

'You want to borrow a tampon?!'

'George, can't you forget that you're a psychiatrist for once and come to bed?!'

'If she's dead i get the bed okay!?'

"I'll take the bottom bunk."

'You won't register this as 'members interests' will you?'

Sign on mensroom door: 'No writing instruments allowed'

"My mistress doesn't care if I drink out of the toilet as long as I put the toilet seat up."

'Behind every successful man there's a woman, telling him he isn't successful enough.'

A guide to paper-free hand dryers.

"This job is way too hard! Crazy customer...rude suppliers...kids who mess up displays...and all we get is $5.15 an hour! It's nothing but sheer exploitation of hard-working American teenagers!"