Bug Comedian Pillows

Don't be alarmed by the smell, it's not a chemical attack: we've just entered the teenage boy's bedroom...

Dinner at the Trapdoors

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Hardware and software

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'Smart? This dog can bark in five different languages!'

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

"You drop yours first."

'We HAVE to hire a nanny.'

"Your honor, my client is a very respectable blood-sucking pest."

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

Jim's Smart Kettle

'I want to biopsy that growth, Mr. Johnson. I don't like the looks of it.'

'Well Sir, it tastes like O-positive to me...'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

No, no Henry. I said I bought a fly sweater for you.