Bug Comedian Gifts

Don't be alarmed by the smell, it's not a chemical attack: we've just entered the teenage boy's bedroom...

Dinner at the Trapdoors

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Hardware and software

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

'Smart? This dog can bark in five different languages!'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'Extreme acupuncture.'

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

"Your honor, my client is a very respectable blood-sucking pest."

"You drop yours first."

'We HAVE to hire a nanny.'

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

Jim's Smart Kettle

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

'I want to biopsy that growth, Mr. Johnson. I don't like the looks of it.'

'Well Sir, it tastes like O-positive to me...'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

No, no Henry. I said I bought a fly sweater for you.

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'