Bug Boffin Gifts

When woodworms eat out.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Exciting potato bugs.

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

Bees v Wasps

'Oh Ernie, you're a louse, but I love you.'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Moths fly to Blackpool for illuminations: 'I'm telling you, you're gonna love it.'

'D'you have any salt?'

It's Not Easy Being Ant Boy!

"To be a bee, or not to be a bee, that is the question."

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

Egg Buggy

"Now calm down Ma'am. If you want to report a murder I'll patch you through to Detective Malone in homicide. This is Sergeant Flanagan....Insecticide!"

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

Giant Insect Alien

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

At a pine beetle concert.