Budget Boffin Gifts

"There will be no raise unless you come up with a plan to offset the deficit."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

Occupy Budget Balancing

Overdraft limit.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

Your tax $ at WAR.

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."

'Psst. It's okay in here, but don't go around calling $690 billion 'chump change.''

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

"The government's finance settlement is coming out really late this year!"

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

Boris discover is where the 'money tree' is.

Budget cuts were beginning to bite at the local council

'The NHS believes in a carrot and stick approach to motivation...'

Security/Savings

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

"On our budget, I'm glad the Keebler Elves were available."

Budget and swan, crayfish, pike

Minnesota Deficit Next Year.

Rishi Sunak

Piggy bank writing an article on 'How to save Money?'

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

A measured response to the budget speech.

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

Going to Greece in a Handbasket.

"The government's bi-partisan plan calls for raising the debt ceiling but also moving the decimal one point to the left."

'Here's an update on the U.S. budget deficit... there are 12 -- not 11 -- zeroes in a trillion.'

'It's a tax refund. There's a note attached asking us not to cash it before next week.'

Economic Experts

"If you're wondering why your paycheck is so small, we deducted health insurance, your 401k,and with taxes, well, it's just enough to cover gas to get here."

"Yes, we have three children. Their names are time guzzler, career killer, and cost factor."