Buffet Connoisseur Gifts

'Tell me, honestly, have I got spinach on my teeth?'

"Start Sucking!"

"You can go back for seconds – but only for a few seconds."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"Regular service or affected?"

'Don't you love these all you can eat buffets?'

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"Quick swig first?"

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

Happy hour.

Sinking Sand

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'Your first cruise then, mate?'

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"Fresh-raked leaves?"