Buffet Aficionado Gifts

Old Country Buffet.

Casino. All you can eat buffet. Now here's a game where I can beat the house!

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Welcome Spring.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Church Basement Foodie

Non-Power Breakfast

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

'Don't you love these all you can eat buffets?'

"Sir, we serve pancakes 297 ways. We don't do plain toast."

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Business is so bad even my hotcakes aren't selling like hotcakes."

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

Happy hour.

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"Would you like me to warm up your eggs?"

*=Hotdog

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

Sinking Sand

"A votre sante!"

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

'New Barbeque.'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

'Your first cruise then, mate?'