Buffet Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Tell me, honestly, have I got spinach on my teeth?'

"Start Sucking!"

"You can go back for seconds – but only for a few seconds."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"Regular service or affected?"

'Don't you love these all you can eat buffets?'

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

Happy hour.

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"Quick swig first?"

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

Sinking Sand

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

'Your first cruise then, mate?'