Budget Vacation Pillows

"When people talk about a 'staycation' this isn't what they mean!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

There is no hurricane season in Aruba...

'He must be going economy!'

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Expensive greeting cards.

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

World's cheapest car

Airline Mergers.

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Europe on $5000 a day.

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Basic economy