Economical Vacationer Pillows

"With so many kids, I can't afford holiday activities, so we come to the beach every day..."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'He must be going economy!'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Cheapskate Cruises

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Call Your Office

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Expensive greeting cards.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

Basic economy

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.

Europe on $5000 a day.

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."