Economic Traveler Pillows

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'He must be going economy!'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Cheapskate Cruises

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Expensive greeting cards.

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

Airline Mergers.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

'I thought I'd never say this, but I think we might've traveled too far this time!'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Basic economy

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

'The bouncing dot.com. bomb.'