Budget Vacation Gifts

"When people talk about a 'staycation' this isn't what they mean!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

There is no hurricane season in Aruba...

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

'He must be going economy!'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

Expensive greeting cards.

World's cheapest car

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

Airline Mergers.

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

Basic economy