Budget Travel Planner Pillows

'This is your captain in the event of a decrease in cabin air pressure, the oxygen mask will drop down and you will be billed $2 per breath.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

"I just..."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Are we broke yet?'

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'He must be going economy!'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

Keep the econoimy moving

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Mad For It

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

World's cheapest car

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"