Frugal Travel Planners Pillows

"I've had a look at our revised pension forecast..."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'Are we broke yet?'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'He must be going economy!'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

Cheapskate Cruises

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

Expensive greeting cards.

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

World's cheapest car

A mental-health spot quiz, Al: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single … Google search of travel websites"?

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Airline Mergers.

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"