Budget-savvy Viewer Gifts

"Looks like the BBC cutbacks are starting to kick in."

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'There's nothing on.'

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"This is Sally Whitgart on TV -- We now switch you to Bart Fribledale on the Internet...."

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

BBC repeats are for life not just Christmas.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

"I've been reformatted for television."

"The plane will cost $269 million per unit... a little less if we forego the cup holders."

Woman on TV says: 'Remember, you can download the best bits of this show as a video podcast, if you really have no life.'

350-million-miles from earth but now right in our living rooms.

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

'Why do I need to DVR this show when they play it over and over again?'

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

"Have you read all these?"

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

Next advert in 2 seconds...

"To cut own on heating costs, we should consider house pooling."

"Nope, still can't afford to buy it."

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'