Budget-savvy Engineers Gifts

3-D TV kit.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

Underwater on the Car

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

'With such a tight budget we never thought it would be possible to build our dream home.'

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

Al's Kwiki-Fix Garage. Why is it that when you guys "run over the estimate", you're never backing up? (Published previously on 1/24/2000.)

'I'm knitting a cozy for the house.'

'Private schools are really expensive these days - Why don't you home-school him?'

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

'This is what telemedicine looks like for a small practice like ours.'

Kwiki-Fix Garage. With add-on charges, the sum is much greater than the parts.

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

'I don't care if this security software was a bargain; it shouldn't reply with 'close enough' when I enter the wrong password.'

'Bring me a nice bottle of something that'll impress the lady, for under a fiver.'

'Of course, for the compact budget we offer the Shelterette Programme.'

Bill Er Indoors.

"Budget cuts mean that we've had to sell the atomic force microscope."

This one's got power brakes, power steering, power windows and power payments!

'For heaven's sake nan, stop worrying about your gas bill and put the central heating on.'

Your last chance to afford petrol.

"Ninety-nine dollars, plus closing costs and gratuity."

"Back so soon?"

"I don't need a second opinion, but I'm going to shop around for a better price."

"We're a day late and four hundred million dollars short."

'We've had to lay off most of the nurses to pay for the locums...'