Budget Hawks Gifts

"This cloaking device avoids detection by the G.A.O."

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

'He says I was REALLY over charged!'

"Experts agree - we need a tax increase."

"Tell me that ain't worth 62 cents of every American dollar."

Torture Budget Cuts

Matteo Salvani

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Beware of the 4th quarter.

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

HS2

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

"Hired! You're just what we need in our budget office!"

"So tell me again about the disastrous effects the Biden infrastructure plan will have on the deficit that you're suddenly so concerned about. . ."

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

'We've completed the spending review and there won't be any.'

'Wait a minute....!

"The figures are accurate. We've rounded-off to the nearest billion."

'Honey, the long-run is here!'

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

Kicking The Habit

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

Chained CPI

'You are charged with conspiracy to cut Government spending....'

"I think it's time we cashed in our spare change. We could probably pay off our house."