Budget Gift-giver Pillows

"I didn't know a merry Christmas could be so cheap."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Birthday Racing Car

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Actually it's darling and I'm sure it would fit perfectly. It's just that I'm not a woman."

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

"Say it with Pierogies"

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

A feminist Christmas.

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

Santa's Out Tray.

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'