Budget Gift-giver Pillows

"I didn't know a merry Christmas could be so cheap."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Love.

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Birthday Racing Car

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Actually it's darling and I'm sure it would fit perfectly. It's just that I'm not a woman."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"Say it with Pierogies"

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

A feminist Christmas.

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

It's the thought that counts!