Budget Gifting Pillows

'Are you sure 15 years married is Pot Noodle? I thought it was crystal.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Christmas Tree

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

The wife whisperer.

Say it with flowers

'They're dog roses!'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'It must be good chocolate for six bucks a box.'

"Gift"

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

Love.

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

CEO.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Shouldn't have, you really."

Tipping Pain Chart

"I hate it..."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'I'm huggable!'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

'Take five Harry, I'm going on ahead to scout for sales'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."