Budget Gift Planner Pillows

'We're sending Barb's grandson a birthday card for his 11th. . . should we put eleven dollars in the card?'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

Bad gifts

Keep the econoimy moving

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

'It's a relatively simple operation...first, we take out your wallet...'

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

"Before we cut the cake, I want to thank my bride for bringing our wedding in under budget."

'Never, Ever...plan to pay for just an oil change when you take your car to the shop.'

"This wasn't the kind of budget cuts I had in mind."

Santa relaxes by Fire

'We can only offer you our basic dental plan: this dental floss and a pack of sugar-free gum.'

'Lester, were you just trying to save a few bucks by using toilet paper in the fax machine, or does this mean we've been using thermal fax paper in the john for the past six months?'

"Dave's a man of rare gifts... He buys me one, about every ten years."

'What will it cost me for you to elope?'

'Today's your birthday? Then add a birthday cake to my grocery list and run an errand during lunch to the florist for flowers under $10.00.'

A butcher's counter is divided between 'delicious,' 'not bad' and 'edible.'

'We should've just dropped off our lists and taken our chances. But no, you had to bring a lawyer into the negotiations.'

Wedding pictures.

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

"I didn't know a merry Christmas could be so cheap."

“I have $3, a dairy allergy, and a very specific pallete. What can you do for me?”

"Do you offer a buyer protection plan?"

"You know, I wouldn't have to pay for this if you were still my son."

Lady walking past a sign that reads: "Happy New Year! Only 358 Shopping Days Before Christmas!"

'I hope he doesn't bring in a belthole tax.'

Baby buying shares

"What wine goes best with a cheap date?"

'I've made a list of presents you could surprise me with this Christmas.'

I'll be good next year I promise.