Gift Planner Pillows

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

'I've made a list of presents you could surprise me with this Christmas.'

Bad gifts

'It's for my grandson.'

His and hers xmas gifts.

MOM'S DINER, ONLY 23 SHOPPING DAYS TILL MOTHER'S DAY!

Royal wedding gift list.

"To avoid stress in the future, tell me what gifts you would like for the next ten Christmases!"

"How am I supposed to tell my kids that Christmas has been pushed back to Easter because toys and gifts are on backorder?!"

I'll be good next year I promise.

Santa Claus's Mail

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Mr. Punch in Venice

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Heading off with a packed bag

Italia tours

Babies.

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'