Budget-conscious Splurger Gifts

"My wife always tells me, 'it's the thought that counts'. But, if I think of anything under £150, heaven help me!"

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

Eat it while it's still £6.50.

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

'It says take all your medication,if you can afford it.'

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

January Sales

"So, you're claiming 32 million gifts as a legitimate business expense."

'Boss, when fuel prices go down, will we go back to using our corporate jet again?'

Spiralling inflation

'Granted, the burros are a lot slower than chair lifts. But for a quarter the price of a regular lift ticket, I'm all for it.'

'I like my wine the way I like my prescriptions - generic.'

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

"It's become so expensive, that if I want sushi, I have to catch my own!"

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

'I'm torn between brand loyalty & changing trends in the consumer experience.'

Organic or Toxic - It depends what you can afford.

'Where is the cheapest place to get a beer?'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines, are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"There's very little an individual store can do about rising food prices, Mom!"

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'

"Nope, still can't afford to buy it."