Budget-conscious Partner Gifts

'You know what a tightwad Howie was. He was thrilled when he found out he could save 60 percent on a cemetery plot if he was buried vertically.'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

Sam's Nation Building

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

Has somebody taken the staff development and training budget again?"

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

'Private schools are really expensive these days - Why don't you home-school him?'

'This is what telemedicine looks like for a small practice like ours.'

'The armed forces are having to respond to new kinds of threat.'

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

'I don't care if this security software was a bargain; it shouldn't reply with 'close enough' when I enter the wrong password.'

'Of course, for the compact budget we offer the Shelterette Programme.'