Budget Biker Gifts

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

Fries and kids

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'He must be going economy!'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

DIY marriage counseling.

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

The spend is high

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Europe on $5000 a day.

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."