Buddhist Practitioners Gifts

Buddhist Center

'Oh, crap.'

Cactus seats.

"Showoff"

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"Did you unpack your baggage yourself?"

"Hoarder."

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Zenboni

Meditation vs. Vegetation

Nervous Buddha

Zen Master Huineng

Scheduel.

ME, MEDITATING ON NO-SELF

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

Third eye

'I have been searching my soul to find the real reason why I ended up here and one answer in particular keeps turning up.'

'I consider the Buddha to be a living document.'

"Oh good, there's nothing on."

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

"Some pilates classes would really loosen you up."

'How's your pilates class doing?'

'And you call yourself a hoop snake?'

"So … ribs for lunch?"

'I consider the Buddha to be a living document.'

"All I have is tofu."

Really, Brother Gregory, that was only necessary on your head.

"Now that I'm enlightened, I have to admit: I kind of miss the suffering."

"You must lose your attachments."

Zen VD Clinic - one hand clap

Dalai Lama