Buddhist Practitioners Gifts

Buddhist Center

Cactus seats.

"Showoff"

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"Hoarder."

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Zenboni

Zen Master Huineng

Nervous Buddha

Scheduel.

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

Third eye

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

'I consider the Buddha to be a living document.'

'I have been searching my soul to find the real reason why I ended up here and one answer in particular keeps turning up.'

"Some pilates classes would really loosen you up."

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

'How's your pilates class doing?'

'And you call yourself a hoop snake?'

"All I have is tofu."

'I consider the Buddha to be a living document.'

"So … ribs for lunch?"

"Now that I'm enlightened, I have to admit: I kind of miss the suffering."

Zen VD Clinic - one hand clap

If a bear poops in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Dalai Lama