Pagan Practitioners Gifts

For Witches of a Certain Age

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Quantum Psychic

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

Saying Grace.

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

"It's the witching hour somewhere."

Buddhist Center

Give Thanks.

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

"I think it would look better over there!"

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

"So … ribs for lunch?"

"All I have is tofu."

"Now that I'm enlightened, I have to admit: I kind of miss the suffering."

At the witches supermarket.

Your dinner is in the coven.

The Joy of Hex

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

Gregorian Monks: Please turn off your cell phones.

"I wonder what we did in a past life that made us all go bald?"

Families barbecue in their back yards while a pagan ritual sacrifice takes place.

'My spirit guide told me your inner child really needs a speeding ticket.'

Yes, Wiccan!

'I'm either going to become a vegetarian or start saying grace before meals!'

'More tea, Wicca?'

'What are you, some kind of religious nut?'

"And God bless Mr. Chu's Szechuan Palace."