Pagan Practitioners Gifts

For Witches of a Certain Age

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Quantum Psychic

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

Saying Grace.

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

"It's the witching hour somewhere."

Buddhist Center

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

Give Thanks.

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

"I think it would look better over there!"

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

At the witches supermarket.

Your dinner is in the coven.

Lord Summerisle was a Big Jacko fan...

"All I have is tofu."

"Now that I'm enlightened, I have to admit: I kind of miss the suffering."

The Joy of Hex

"So … ribs for lunch?"

Really, Brother Gregory, that was only necessary on your head.

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

'To think it was me who suggested you took up an interest like basket-weaving...'

Gregorian Monks: Please turn off your cell phones.

Families barbecue in their back yards while a pagan ritual sacrifice takes place.

"I wonder what we did in a past life that made us all go bald?"

'My spirit guide told me your inner child really needs a speeding ticket.'

Yes, Wiccan!

'I'm either going to become a vegetarian or start saying grace before meals!'

'What are you, some kind of religious nut?'

'More tea, Wicca?'