Brush Virtuoso T-Shirts

"Paint something nice."

'Three thousand of those, four thousand of those, five thousand of those...'

The self-portrait.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

Monkey-artist

Rocking Witches.

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

Artist and Musician

'Are you done yet?'

'He's the bluesman's bluesman.'

'I love these afternoon jam sessions.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Hacksaw Violin.

The Cartoonist's armoury

Two men creating themselves with a pencil and paintbrush.

Child placing crayon drawing over TV screen

Recording Studio

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

Painter's muse

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

ACCOUNTANT-IN-RESIDENCE: "John, we're going to have to cut back on the cadmiums."

'That brush - how many dpi?'

Pianist takes his bow whilst the singer carries on singing.

"I was kind of hoping for 'new voices' who'd also sung before."

'My best attribute? That would be my glottal stop.'

'He's writing two concertos and a sonata - that should keep him of the streets.'

Paul Gaugin

'You need to slow down - use more color.'