Broken Bone Recovery Gifts

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

"Are they called 'x-rays' because the alphabet wasn't finished when they were invented?"

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

Speed Dating for Turtles

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."