Bro-lovers Gifts

"Less bromance, more broductivity."

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

'I took my money out of the bank and put it into municipal bonds...'

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

'Words can't express how much I Love You - so I'm writing an equation.'

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

The Exhaustive Bro Catch Up

"What I'm trying to say, Mary, is that I want your site linked to my site."

Happy Valentine!

'I need a Vacation.'

'That's right, the Princess kissed me by mistake: She didn't know the difference between a frog and a toad...'

"And, of course all our rockets come with a three second warranty."

'Dang.'

'I've got the iron.'

Fishing poles/Honeymoon gondolas.

'My member requires some interest.'

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

Petting in the park.

"The problem is, all I think about is sex, all you think about is amphimixis."

Pregnant

'It must be love, when he kisses me, my heart quakes 5.7 on the richter scale.'

"You'll come here,but you won't go to Brooklyn?"

'...so you wouldn't have to spend any money in the pub.'

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

"He may be evil, but his breath is like air conditioning."

"It's a niche movie. Then there's a car chase, and – bam – mass market."

How oysters get engaged: 'Oh Rodolfo...It's exquisite.'

Virtual reality mirror.

'You're right, there is no 'i' in team. But there is 'tea', so I'm nipping off for a break right now ...'

"Dugan is our new specialist in floating rate bonds."