Bloopers Lover Gifts

"We're letting you go, Hermanson. You're making all the sports blooper shows, but none of the highlight shows."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Rose Garden

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

"I've seen a tulip before."

Movies vs. Films

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

'I'm sorry, did you say you wanted to try fresh sugarcane.'

'It's definitely grown hyacinth we last looked at it!'

'I wrote on this piece of cardboard because the teleprompter is broken. Just say something about technical difficulties and we'll be right back after these messages or whatever. Just don't read this on air!'

"OK people, this one's for the blooper reel, so let's blow it out there."

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

"You're my agent, tell me - what do I have to do to be taken seriously as an animal-bloopers-show host?"

"It's a niche movie. Then there's a car chase, and – bam – mass market."

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

'That plant food really works!'

"Oh...erm...welcome back!"

"It says 'Available Now: The Greatest Bloopers of Your Life, available on Pay-Per-View or DVD!'"

Now what's this about the Bibcock deal hitting a snag?

Abraham Lincolns slippers.

"They don't prevent crime, but the videos make great blooper reels."

"Why, Susan, I—ha-ha-ha! Oh, God, sorry... Sorry."

'Just stay on this track in a counter-clock-wise direction for, oh, I'd say another two or three laps. Can't miss it.'

'Buns, rockcakes and paperweights.'

Asian Man shows chiropodist curled up toes, due to wearing curled up shoes.

"This is a support group for phone victims. Frank butt dialed. Bib drunk dialed, Anne there talked bad about someone, but didn't realize she hadn't hung up..."

Florist

'I feel insulted whenever I receive a royalties check for the bloopers reruns.'

'Another retrospective of the Bush Administration?', 'Oh, no -- this is just the blooper reel.'

"Can you hang on a sec? I think I just took another picture of my ear."

'In today's campaign bloopers, Obama called her 'Billary' and Hillary called him 'Oprah-Ama'.'

Good cop, bad slop, hard bop.